It’s stainless steel,
(Totally stylish these days)
but it’s got that coating
To hide all of those
Fingerprints,
(So no one knows you’ve been there).
It has two doors
Which open wide
(Like the doors to a cathedral)
to reveal
The cold halogen-lit sanctuary inside.
Two drawers beneath
The cathedral doors
Form a deepening frozen foundation,
One of them at the eye level of
Snack-fueled six-year-olds,
Which keeps their sticky fingers
Out of the Good Stuff.
Dooood. That's so...cold.
This shiny silver cathedral to gluttony
Has gone ecumenical:
It’s doubling as a temple to
Laziness and Gross Excess:
It has the internet right on the door.
One can stand at the cool altar lit with creepy blue light
Trying to decide between another
Piece of chocolate pie
Or more of that cream cheese stuff
And watch the news
And listen to some tunes
And write a memo (Touch screen! Bonus!)
And find a recipe
(And say, “screw it”
While eating both).
One can spend the entire day
In front of an open fridge
Chilled by the cold air
And the lack
Of actual human contact.
Obviously, this is why
This icy box with two doors
And two drawers
And the web
Is such a bargain
At $3200.